Our careers develop in stages. We all know that. For most of us it starts with the learning stage where we are new at the job. We pick a mentor, or assigned one, and learn as much from him or her as possible. We learn on the job, commit mistakes along the way, but we learn something new almost everyday. Then we move on to the steady or expert phase where we are already at par with the competition or performing above and beyond expectations.

For some people, it stops right there. But for others, especially those who commit to advancing themselves and their teams, the perilous but exciting journey continues. Let's focus on the latter.

Call them hi-pos (high potential), A-players or succession plan. These are the guys that are currently on top of their current food chain and is looking into moving up into another. Usually they are the impatient go-getters. The data-driven analytic. The charismatic influencer. Or the smooth talking diplomat. Actually, they can be two or three of those but never all four based on my experience in watching them. But that's more than enough to succeed.

Also, based on my experience and it has a ring of common sense to it, it is certainly easy for people to choose to be a hi-po if you are between the ages of 19 to 28. They have nothing to lose. They commit a mistake, they can just pick themselves up, dust off and start over. Simple.

They are usually single and free-spirited. Time management is not an issue as they only have to juggle between 12-hour 5-day workdays and all-night binge drinking. You can rely on them on beating deadlines or being pulled from their beds at unusual hours to kill a critical task.

Crazy, hungry, idealistic, lean and brutal - these young folks deliver. It is just a matter of getting it done, no BS needed.

However, when life happens as some people say, things change for the better/worse (yours to pick). They get married and have children. Big loans and mortgages become a staple in lunch conversations. In this economy, parents become their responsibility as they quit the workforce with practically no retirement plans. Putting siblings through high school and college is common as tuition fees rise. And they are not as healthy as they used to be - calling in sick not all the time but a little more than when they were younger.

Trade Offs

At this stage in life and in people's career, it is no longer a question of whether they can still be the top salesman on the field. Or the most-clocked lawyer or accountant in the firm. Or the most miles travelled for road warriors.

For these guys, it is not just about asking, "Will I get the big bucks in two years from now?" but more like, "Will I get the big bucks in two years from now but along the way I will have to work 14-hour work days and regularly skip my son's soccer games, my daughter's piano recitals and my wife's warm dinner?"

The question is if they are willing to take the trade offs. If they choose career over family. Promotions over good health. The road versus the suburbs.

Companies and its executives must accept these realities and not be too idealistic in expecting their employees to prioritize their company over their other personal priorities.

But I want to focus more on the people: that you should accept the realities, if you are already in this stage in life, that it is now all about trade offs. You are not as young as you used to be. You are no longer just your own man (or woman). And there are plenty of younger, more talented people around you.

I recently engaged with an employee of mine who had issues making ends meet. He is in this stage where a lot of his time is needed at home. However, the work that he is doing requires him to be in the office in tip-top shape 95% of the time.

Nobody is asking for perfection. I am only expecting him and the rest of the team to manage to perform most of the time. But he is having a hard time meeting that given the situation.

He had to quickly realize that it is just a matter of choosing. He can't have both. I know, easier said than done but that's just how it is.

It is really not about performance, money, promotions or career anymore. It is all about the trade offs that we are willing to make/take.