My God, My God, why have you forsaken me at 40?

Prince William and Kate Middleton are only in their late 20s. The French fries lovers in that McDo commercial were toddlers.  I am 51. I am President. I have a Porsche. Why can’t I avail of the sacrament of matrimony? You don’t want me to end up like Marlene Aguilar, do  you?

Please tell your bishop to shut up. State affairs and my affairs are none of his business. I promote responsible parenthood. Let him practice responsible priesthood.

I have not contributed to population explosion. I have the moral ascendancy to stop it.